One of those days....

Thank you guys for all your visits and comments! I really appreciate it! Damn, I’m amazed by how many people are enjoying this blog o. Thanks for the love y’all.

Whew! Sorry it’s taken so long to update guys, I’ve been swamped with school work and group meetings and stuff. It’s been a long morning today sef, and I don’t think I can take it anymore. I don tire men. And Finebabe is not around, so I’m reeeeeally not happy! I’m in such a foul mood. Meanwhile, I think I’m gonna slap my course advisor men.

This morning she asked me what my dissertation topic was, and I told her. She gave me one kin’ blank look and said, “That’s not good enough, Fineboy! What are your sources? Empirical data? Theories? How are you going to test it? Blah..blah…blah..”
The woman na one young Indian woman wey dey always feel too smart. She doesn’t even try to sympathise o, she even suggested that I might fail if I don’t get my stuff together. Imagine! Na she go run down!

The annoying part was that she was intermittently taking bites of one crusty sandwich as she was talking to me. There was now a glob of mayonnaise on the corner of her mouth the whole time. Eww! She no come fine again! Men I don’t even wanna think about that nonsense anymore. After my meeting with her, I met up with my friend Annie at the library. Annie is a really nice girl from Hong Kong, very sweet and funny. But, God forgive me, her breath is always ‘stanking!’ Men, I feel bad saying that ‘cos she’s so lovely…but damn! I offered her my tube of softmints and she said no o. We sat talking for like 30 minutes and men, e no easy.

I’m gonna go ahead and do as much work as I can now, then meet up with the rest of my coursemates at one of the uni bars for drinks later. My only wahala with those guys is that dem too dey drink men.

They never let me leave after a couple of beers o, na until everybody don begin talk nonsense, begin fall for ground. And I’m like the only black guy, so I don’t always want to come across like the angry black man, so I go just dey play along.

There’s one guy in our crew, Leity. Cool dude from Alabama, looks like one of those Abercrombie & Fitch frat boy types. The guy na my guy from day one oh, and that’s how last November, on one of these our drinking nights, the guy told us he was gay! Gay ke? I’m like errr….okay. The guy is a cool dude…whatever his sexuality is his own problem. But men, since then, whenever we get a few drinks in our system, the guy starts making all these funny jokes.

“Fineboy, you’re one sexy piece of chocolate ass….”

“Give me a hug, Fineboy”

Men, the shit gets uncomfortable. And I notice say na only when the guy drink. One time he said he had a hot date with a Brazilian dude….would I like to join? And burst out laughing.

That’s what me I don’t understand about Oyinbo people o. When black man don dey, we go begin dance. When Oyinbo man don shayo, na to begin yarn nonsense. One other guy, Lee, always tells me to dance for them. The first time he said it, I thought “Should I be offended? Is it because I’m black? ”

But now, I understand that they just like my moves. Omo, I go begin dey dance all kin’ nonsense dances and they like it o. I’ll give them the shoulder lean, give them “the motorcycle”, and depending on my shayo level, I even give them bugle or some old school shit. Any yeye dance, these guys would be like “Wow, Fineboy, you’re such a great dancer!” LOL, I love it men. I be like superstar for there. Dem never born me do those kin’ steps for black club o.

And there’s one girl there, Zoe, one Canadian babe. She’ll be dancing in front of me with that her small yansh, giving me one yeye ‘seductive’ look, like I’m supposed to be turned on. Joker.

And she used to send me texts starting with “Hey honey….” Or “Hey sexy..” I had to tell the girl to stop that nonsense o, before she puts me inside yawah with Finebabe.

Anyway, I’ll see them tonight, and if anything interesting happens, you know I’ll let you know. Let me get back to these damn essays. No vex abeg, my people....I have so much work, I’ll update really soon!

Virgin blog!

I've finally created a blog! I've been thinking about it for a minute, but couldn't get round to doing it. I'm a bloody huge procrastinator if i might say so myself. But Baba Alaye and Bimbylads have inspired me! A little bit about me: I'm a naija boy(man) in my early-mid twenties......recently moved back to London, after studying and living in New york for the past 5 years. I never thought I'd come back to this wack-ass city, but when one school like that gave me admission to do my master's, omo i couldn't say no o. U know one of those schools that u have on ur CV and ur supposedly set for life? Well, we'll see now. I get done this year, and I'm facing Naija straight.....the prayer is that I pass the bloody exams.

As in this is the hardest shit I've ever done in my life. In Yankee, I was one of the smartest guys in every class I had. At this school, omo I no dey even open mouth for class. Let me give u a typical seminar conversation;

Dr. Thatcher-"Mr. Fineboy, what do you think are the implications of Black's Median voter theorem on the U.S. legislative system and how would it have been significant in the outcomes of the 2004 U.S. elections?"

At this point, all these former Harvard geeks and Oxford chaps turn to me....the token black guy.

My heart is pounding like crazy at this point......Chai! Omo! This fucking guy wan disgrace awon boys ni sha! What the fuck is Median Voter Theorem?????Who told me not to do the readings o? Last night I was looking at December Naija pictures on ofoto and looking at strangers' pages on hi5!

Me-"Err...the median voter theorem is very significant in U.S. politics. Looking at the last U.S elections and the margins between both candidates....one can only make a direct inference. For example, in the 1999 democratic elections in Nigeria we saw president Olusegun Obasanjo of the PDP win a decisive victory. Even in that case, you see the Median voter theorem at work....

Everybody's starts staring at me at this point, and even the professor's probably thinking "WTF did this joker just say? Wetin consign Obasanjo with Median Voter?" The guy can't be bothered to even discuss it further with me and starts talking about something else.

Men, na so i dey always escape hot water for this fucking school o! I'm sure everybody just wonders why the hell i dodge every question and talk about Nigeria, b'cos they obviously don't know shite about it. Na their wahala be that.

School is not the only thing that's difficult about this city. In America, I had my own crib, a phat ride, and a correct job. In this jand, I have to hop on that bloody underground everyday, with oyinbo people frowning face for no reason. The other day, on my way to Uni, I was sat across this middle-aged oyinbo man that was just staring directly at me, with a frown on his face. I made up my mind not to stop looking at the twat, and the guy too didnt stop o. We sat there for like a minute, just boning up at each other. That's how one fat fuck that was getting off the train just left one pungent mess o!!! Men i didn't even hear anything...but that thing smelt like a bag of rotten eggs! Kai! Oyinbo mess is always on another level o! And the crazy thing is that nobody even behaved as if anything had happened. Omo, i stopped staring at that were and just got up and walked to the next door! Bloody hell!

Anyway, I'm rambling now...so I'll start hittingyou guys up with daily gist tomorrow. So much to tell y'all!Peace!